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I Feel an Anxiety Attack Coming On- Here’s How I’m Dealing With It

coping with anxiety attacks quinn pascal quirky q quirkyq

dealing anxiety self care quirkyq quinn pascalAs the title implies, I have anxiety. I feel a breakdown starting to happen as they have been quite frequently recently but this time I’m taking a different approach. My approach has to be different especially because my boyfriend is out of town and he’s been my anchor.

For the past hour I’ve been watching youtube videos. Not necessarily helpful ones either. Step one: closing out of youtube.

Step two: Food? Food. Sweet potato fries are now in the oven.

Step three: While fries are baking, medicate and start writing a blog post. Yes, what you’re reading right now is what is helping me cope by typing.

Step four: Get intensely side tracked by organizing all the images on the computer desktop and downloads folder.

Step five: Keep writing the blog post, check on the fries when ya fingers start to hurt.

So far, so good. With my fries I’ll have mayo and maybe hot sauce. Might make tea, definitely drinking water. Medicate some more in the form of medical marijuana. Hunt down some photos for said blog post.

Step six: Slightly burn sweet potato fries. It’s ok though, entropy is inevitable.

How do you take care of yourself when you start to feel that funk?


Quinn Pascal


P.S. Want to see a blog post on how I medicate with cannabis? Let me know in the comments below!

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Money and Houses, a Tale of a Determined 19 Year Old

bird house quinn pascal

nineteen 19 years old and Planning to buy a house quinn pascal

I want to move out. My home life is pretty good, but I’m starting to see the benefits of having my own place. The thing is, I don’t want to live in an apartment. My boyfriend and I went to look at some but they’re just… disappointing. My solution? “Why don’t we just live at home for a bit and buy a house?” Apparently it irritated him that I was making purchasing and moving into a house seem so easy. After talking to my mom though (who also wants me to spread my wings) she has had property investment on her mind. She was thinking duplex, but I may have just convinced her to invest in a house within the next 6 months. I’ll have to save up and contribute, maybe “rent” a room in my boy’s house to get some space, but it’s a possibility in the not-too-far future. I was ready to bust my butt to make 100,000 in a year. Now I may only have to do 25-45,000 before May of next year. Not too bad if you ask me.

So, it’s currently August. 10 months until May (when my mom said). That’s 4,500 a month. Or 1,125 a week. 160 a day. Hmmmm. I’m planning on writing a children’s book. I’m house sitting right now, which could also be a business since I’m fantastic at it. Blogging, a bit harder but potentially worth it. My tshirt business if I stick with it.

However I need to do it, I’m determined. I’ll make a plan and get it done. What do you think? If you’ve bought a house, how did you approach it?


-Quinn Pascal

P.S. Follow my Pinterest– Let’s be friends!

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Primed and Ready!

working girl and ready for life quinn pascal
Working Girl and Ready for Life by Quinn Pascal

That job I was talking about? I got it! Not only that, I start TOMORROW! Hoo hoo! I’m so excited to work! I can tell it will be a great community to be a part of, but if I can be real with you for a sec… I’m pumped for the money. Specifically because I contacted a renter yesterday about a room saying I’ll let them know if I get the job. This mean I get to move my booty OUT soon! Or at least probably.

My morning routine was going strong until today. I overslept, woke up at 11 to my mom handing me the phone with my employer on the other line to tell me I got the job- what a sweet way to wake up! I forced myself to brush my teeth and wash my face even though gravity felt x200 on my shoulders.

I’m most excited to have constant income to finally put all those budgets and planning I’ve been reading and dreaming about to use! Let me know if you want a post on that soon once I get that ball rolling!

If I get to see that apartment we’d be moving into, I’ll never stop dreaming and planning. At least not until I’m living there! All I want right now is to DIY dollar store finds and cook my boyfriend french toast and strawberries in the morning! We would be sharing the kitchen with three other people and honestly, I just want to make them all cookies and pot roast. Is that weird?

Speaking of cooking, I was experimenting with truffle and pesto fried kale… probably would have tasted better with a fried egg on top- recipe of that coming soon when I give it another go!

Until then,

Quinn Pascal

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Routines and Daily Art | An Update

Watercolor Art by Quinn Pascal

routines and daily art quinn pascal blog ferrets cute watercolor  In my last post I talked about my goals and how I’m going to reward myself. I had run 7/20 miles on the treadmill total when I had the idea to check how far my fitbit thought I had run… then I realized I had gone a total of 19.99 miles. Exactly. I could dye my hair silver now! But wait, what’s that? My dad is handing me the phone? Okay, so I got a job interview for the next day. Maybe not the best time to dye my hair or repierce my lip for fun.

Two days later and the job interview went great. Not only that, the employer said there are no policies on piercings, nail polish, or hair color! So I re-stabbed my own lip (what fun) and am plotting when I should dye my hair. If I even should. I’m having second thoughts, you know. It went from everyone saying “it’ll look so good!” to “actually I’m not so sure…” and I’m not seeking the approval of everyone around me, but it would be nice. I may wait a while or until I have the job secured to dye my hair.

My morning routine is five days strong! Wake up early, eat, drink tea and absorb information (watch news, read, talk to someone), coffee, wash face and teeth, do art. Doing art definitely has to be my favorite part of this whole thing (aside from the coffee). Not just any art though. Since I’m a freelance artist, making finished art pieces can get stressful. That’s why for my morning routine I have limited it to small, free-flowing watercolor painting. It’s extremely relaxing to play with whatever colors my mind is taking to that morning. If I’m not feeling inspired, I can just splash colors on the paper or dot them around and smudge them. It’s a very forgiving art form. The only problem (which is not really a problem at all) is that I get into this meditative state, sipping my coffee, painting, absent-mindedly petting my cat and before I know it, more than an hour has passed. What! I suppose I don’t have to get that piece of time managed right now. Maybe I will if and when I get that job (;

Until the next update,

Quinn Pascal

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Silver Hair and Life Goals

I’m going to dye my hair silver. But for some reason my brain needs to have something else first. Some sort of life order. To remedy this, I’m setting goals around it. Once I jog 20 miles (total), and get my room clean I will dye my hair. By that time I’ll also probably have received glasses in the mail (and some new makeup that I bought). I also think I’m going to have my friend give me an industrial piercing. I’m excited to have a whole new look so near in the future… but also having to work towards it is satisfying right now. I’m not going to say I’ve never worked for anything in my life, but… I have been quite spoiled.
Another aspect of my life I’d like to have in place is a morning routine. I had one for a while and it made life just so much sweeter. For me, this will constitute waking up in one of the single digit hours of the morning (before 10 am)… say 8:30 am. Hopefully I’ll build up to 6 am comfortably someday because I love watching the sunrise when it feels like the whole world is asleep.
Okay, so, I wake up early, I eat breakfast (scrambled eggs and/or oatmeal)(requirement for myself: the food has to be photogenic. That’s how I know I’m eating well), I read/listen to a podcast (I love podcasts, I need to listen to more. Especially the “Being Boss” one), wash my face and brush my teeth… and that’s the general structure I need. And coffee. Past that, I want to blog daily for a while. As a journal if nothing else.
To clarify, a clean room for me right now would mean clear/organized surfaces as well as a clean and clear floor (wait, isn’t that a brand of face wash?). I’ll log process on that as it goes.
Now, I’m going to go to the gym with my boyfriend after eating a picture perfect salad. Life isn’t so bad, and in this moment, it seems extremely doable. So let’s do this!

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Working with Life Intentions

Hello coaching peeps! If you’re reading this, I’m going to assume you know what the life intentions list is. So, I was looking at it and felt… off. Okay, yeah I know which I identify with and which I don’t, but what do they mean? What do I do with them? My brain insisted that there was a better way to look at these words. I started by writing down the ones I chose (that was fifteen of the larger list) and drawing arrows to intentions that I felt had a connection.

After doing this, I rewrote them in a more visually pleasing way since looking at this just made me think “great, ok, there are arrows. So?”

After doing this, I realized that they all connected quite a bit so I rewrote them again- this time in a long list, going through each of the fifteen intentions I picked and writing the other intentions involved. The list format is “I intend to be:”… “which requires being…” and started with the intention closest to the top which seemed the most important regarding the “real world” at the time.

Then I wrote my list and tallied up how many times each intentions showed up in another. I counted the tallies and wrote the intentions again in tiers- intentions with a tally of four at the top, then three, two, and one going down. This didn’t feel right for some reason, so I noted which intentions held more importance for me and I mentally floated those to the top of the chart.

Then I broke out the colored pens (oh snap) and I circled business intentions in green, personal intensions in lilac and social intentions in red.

Feeling a bit clearer now (if anything from writing them again and again) I wrote them again in two columns- more business toned intention and more personal, now with the more important ones to me closer to the top- notice how the previously thought to be most important intention is now at the bottom (;

I still felt like I could be clearer with what these intentions are.  The question that appeared in my mind was “What is this looking like for me?” So I broke away from writing the same intentions over and over and started to write what I thought each one meant- what it consisted of, what it might physically look like, any idea of a schedule, how it can be measured, etc. I’m still in the process of working through the other intentions, but my next step is going to be making a list of actions for each intention. This way, whenever I feel anxious or like I’m not working to my potential, I can pick a task from the list and know that I’m working towards who I want to be in this world especially since they’re all connected and benefit from each other!

I hope this helps you with your life intentions, thanks for reading!

Until next time,


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My Second Infusion | A Life Update 

If you haven’t read my first post about this, you should probably check it out. 

As a follow up, this time went SO much better. My nurse was my best friends mom, and she is GOOD at what she does. My body was also more cooperative. Nothing went wrong or even slightly funny, it was the ideal experience. An infusion, burger, and trip to the art store later and I’m set to resume life! Which is exciting because symptoms that were taken away with the last infusion started to come back on Wednesday and really came back yesterday. Sigh. Buh-bye symptoms! See you in two weeks probably! 

I love scientists and modern medicine!

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Senility | Thoughts

I currently live at home with my parents, we all live with my grandfather to take care of him. Recently his mental state has been dependent on his health. He’s got a P.hD in the Classics, but as his health deteriorates…

Today I overheard my dad talking to my grandpa (since the g-pa is almost deaf, it’s very easy to over hear the yelled conversations) “Whatcha got there?” My dad yells at about 11:00 am (grandpas breakfast time), “…. those are dog treats.”

“Wha?” deaf dude says.

“Dog. Treats. Look,” he picks up and points at the package, ” ‘Because your best friend deserves nature’s best ingredients!’ …. Would you like me to make you something!” 

A grilled cheese and cup of coffee later and the old guy is taken care of. I just… sigh. 

Life is interesting. 

Be grateful for your caretakers and mental health. 

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A Rant About My Cat

When I was four years old I got a cat for my birthday. Almost 15 years later and I’ve still got him! I’ll blog about the birthday event later because I was pretty funny as a four year old, but right now I need to get this off my chest. 

As I said, 15 years. I’ve had my cat, Stanley, for FIFTEEN YEARS. They’ve been good and solid! But now he officially qualifies as an old cat. An obnoxious old cat. In his old age he has actually become a lot more relaxed, less territorial (stopped pissing on everything). However, he has also developed much more of a voice. He meows. He doesn’t just meow, he howls, and screams, and harasses me! When he wants food, he meows. When he has food but wants the better food, he howls. When he has the better food, but it got cold or pushed around, he keeps howling. When his water dish is a little dirty, he meows. When his litter box is dirty, he meows. When literally nothing is wrong, he meows. Sometimes holding him on my lap will quiet him down for a bit, but if I have to get up, he complains. 

He’s also figured out how to use his paws to get my attention. For instance, when I go to the bathroom, he wants to sit on my lap. He communicates this by sitting next to the toilet and lightly batting at my leg. With his claws out. Gently, no scratch marks left ever, but it’s annoying as all hell. 

I love my cat, but never did I think I would scream “shut up” at an animal alone in my room. 

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My First Infusion Experience | My IBD Diary

Warning: This post will contain medical content- lots of needle talk!

Disclaimer: This is just my personal experience. It is different for everyone.

My Infusion Experience

With that out of the way, I’m going to talk about my first infusion treatment for my severe ulcerative colitis. I was only recently diagnosed, the “severe” part of the diagnosis is what got me to this stage of treatment faster. I’m only 18 and still babied, so my mom was with me the whole time as she normally is to deal with all the technical details.

First, I was sat in a room. Kind of small, but there was a tv and a giant comfy chair (for me) and a side chair (for le mama). The nurse introduced himself, asked questions about the sheet I filled out in the lobby (recent symptoms type thing) and reviewed which medications I would be given. There was a mess up at the pharmacy and apparently none of the major medications I was there for were prescribed and ordered. This was taken care of as fast as possible, which meant sitting and hanging out for 45 minutes while we waited for the medications to arrive.

Blood Work

I had to have my blood taken for labs (this will happen each time before the infusion to monitor my healing) and this was by far the most stressful part. I was given medicine in pill form first- tylenol, benadryl, and an anti-anxiety med (which didn’t work) to get them in my system in case I have a negative/allergic reaction to the infusion. Being a needle-phobe, I don’t want to see the needles. I’ve come to terms with that fact that I’ll have to be in contact with them a lot, but I still need to take anti-anxiety medication and hide my head in my mom’s chest. Not going to lie, this was the worst blood draw ever. I’m typing this quickly to get it over with, so pardon bad phrasing. It hurt. The idea was to stick me one time, use that as the port to draw blood and then do the infusion. Only problem is, I’ve lost a ton of weight and I’m also very low iron. This means that my veins don’t cooperate. The needle for the infusion also hurts a fuck ton more than the normal ones. Excuse my language. I could feel it. And I mean FEEL it. After several attempts and really really unpleasant never-before-felt digging (shudder) they called a specialist down for the blood draw. While she was on her way, I requested something- anything- for my arm with the infusion needle in it. I was then given a warm blanket to wrap it in which did help, but also got it out of my sight.  The blood work specialist was fantastic, got it in one go. I told her I loved her.

There was still a needle in my other arm from the male nurses work because it was a good spot of the infusion, it just wasn’t giving any blood. It was unpleasant and I could feel it there the whole time. This was difficult, but I got through it with some meditation and nervous chatter with my mom.

After all of that, it was easy sailing. The nurse hooked my arm up to the iv drip, told me to tell him if any negative signs that he listed off occurred, explained how it was going to work.

During the Infusion and After

I watched an episode of Sherlock on Netflix with my mom while the infusion was actually happening… an hour and a half later, I was done. A different nurse/lady/assistant person came in and disconnected me. The spot where the needle was hurt a lot- really bad bruise kind of pain, and I was tired. The lobby was empty, hardly any nurses were around when we left.

We went out for burgers and then went home. Here’s the incredible part- only my arm hurt. This is so unbelievable because for the past few weeks, my colon had been in pain. On a scale of one to ten, it was consistently at LEAST a seven. I felt like dancing. I had forgotten what no-pain felt like. Not only that, but my appetite was back after being gone for a week. I was just a bit tired like I had had a long day at school and maybe not enough sleep, but WOW was that a pleasant kind of tiredness to feel.

The day after, I could feel my colon and feel it trying to start healing, but some of the extra medications they had given me to prevent allergic reactions were still in my system and working for the better- I felt incredible.

The next day (two days after) I started out feeling pretty good, but then the extra anti-inflammatories wore off and my body started trying really, really hard to heal. My pain was still significantly less than before the infusion, but it was there. I was also exhausted. All my energy was going to healing- this meant multiple naps. Not too bad.

More updates to come, I hope this was informative to those who needed it. Leave any questions in the comments!

Thanks for reading,


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IBD Diary 1

Warning: Explicit language and body talk.

(Other disclaimer: This is a record of my personal experiences. Not everyone goes through the same thing, but I know some can relate.)

Alright this is a personal matter, so if you don’t have Inflammatory Bowel Disease or someone in your life with such, you probably want to click away. Seriously, it’s okay. I won’t be offended.

This is going to be almost completely a train of thought blog because I’ve rarely had the energy to get to the point of sitting up and typing. Had I done this a week ago, the text you’re reading would have been unintelligible, all-caps rage. The rage is still there, don’t get me wrong, but now that my head has had time to cool, I can address the hot topic- my gut! Get it, because, inflammation is hot, and painful, seriously I sleep with ice packs under my shirt.

Okay pause– just so I know we’re on the same page here: Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD) is “Ongoing inflammation of all or part of the digestive tract.” which most commonly takes form as Crohn’s Disease or Ulcerative Colitis. These are chronic illnesses. ‘Chronic’ means consistent or reoccurring pain in the fucking ass.

Great, so glad you now understand this über sexy-sounding disease. I’ll continue with my story:

It all started… well, I’m not sure. But symptoms seemingly spontaneously amplified fall of 2016. Luckily I was already taking a gap-term of sorts after graduating high school, otherwise I would have dropped out of college, no doubt.  For the past month or so I’ve had to cut out all dairy and caffeine.