It’s mother’s day and my birthday. My mom says its the “greatest mothers day gift ever” to be able to celebrate her child’s birth. But I called in sick to work. On my birthday. and mothers day. Fuck. What if I told you I’m crapping blood? I didn’t say that when I called into work, only that my stomach is “freaking out” which it is. I’m not lying. So why do I feel so guilty? No, I definitely could not work in the deli leaving every minute to go to the bathroom. But they’re short staffed. I’m in physical agony. So my mom probably isn’t the happiest because my dad will be complaining about how shitty I am to her. AHHHGGGHGHGH
Whatever. I’ll just read my business textbook homework on the toilet now.
It’s my birthday and I’ll poop if I want to!